Crap Biscuit’s blog

Show us something you love but everyone else hates. 
Submitted by AKA Vasquez.  

chocolate fudge brownie milkshake - i don't know another soul that likes this.

Frijj

What set you apart from the rest of the kids at school? 
Submitted by jks.

In primary school I knew big words and I wasn't afraid to use them. Didn't earn me a fan club, just loads of accusations of "swallowing a dictionary" and being "smart". Well… duh!

In high school I didn't have a Sweater Shop jumper. Or a perm. Or a pregnant belly.

I’m in the office just now and a couple of the guys are just back from the baker’s. The smell of their food is reminding me so much of Aulds’ pies back home and I’m smiling to myself at the thought that I’ll be enjoying them again in a few weeks. I haven’t quit yet, but I know I need to soon. I’m worried about getting a van and driving it to Scotland. It’s so far, and I’m not the most confident driver.

The smell still lingers, taking me back to the cafes we went to in France in February. The travel bug is biting me hard!

I was just wandering through my living room in the dark, like I always do, and I heard a bang outside that reminded me of what it’s like to be scared. I remembered a scene from Rainbow Brite where she and her horse Starlite were in an ice world and there were all these giant robots patrolling the place. Rainbrow Brite and Starlite were hiding behind igloos, but Starlite struggled to maintain balance on the ice and often slid from behind one igloo to another while these terrifying, massive robots walked past. I remember almost crying watching it I was so scared, and I think the only thing I’ve been that scared of since is Ring (the Japanese version obviously).

My boiler blew its fuse yesterday. It had had enough and said “pop”. I thought, fair enough, we’re all entitled to jack it in at some point in our hardworking lives.

The guys came to fix it this morning, both lovely chaps, one of whom looked like a Wildman of Kathmandu (this probably doesn’t have any credibility but it’s what I thought as soon as I saw him) with an unruly blond mane escaping from under a baseball cap and a full, busy beard to match. He looked like he’d jumped off a Jeep in Jakarta, ready to bolster a boiler in Baldock. I welcomed them both in and made them the good strong tea that workmen like (I gave the Wildman my Tigger mug) and off I went to work, perfectly happy that two handsome gentlemen were doing man-type stuff in my girly little flat.

I got home after work, cheerful that my flat wasn’t as untidy as I thought it might be – more to do with me being in non-housework mode than there being evidence that work had been done. Hot water restored, I washed up my special pot and got ready to make my kick-arse chilli (opening tins is no longer a problem!) but then I discovered my cooker wouldn’t turn on. Crud! I had to have tea, an apple and sandwiches for dinner. I let my landlady know, poor woman must be sick of hearing from me just now, but it’ll be tomorrow before the Return of the Wildman to put it right.

Seems strange that all this stuff is going wrong now. On the week I decide that I’ve almost definitely had enough here the flat decides to give me proper jip: “get out then, see if I care?”

We have an extra body in the office this week and she’s already made a good impression. She bought eight mini pastries and I had three. They were all really delicious. My skin’s not liking it though, it’s really crying out for its 5 a day. Five a week would be lucky at this rate, in carb-override at the moment unfortunately because I’ve got so much to think about. I told a friend I’d move in with her for a while but I also want to move right up the north of Scotland to walk about the Highlands, maybe learn to surf. October still feels like a lifetime away and I’m anxious to get away now, and it feels like I’m definitely going that way.

What's the weirdest baby name you've ever heard (or considered)?

Apart from the obvious celeb chosen names like Fifi Lulu Trixabell Peaches Apples n Pears and all that cal, one name that stands out from when I was quite young is Paxton. For a girl. Apologies to Vasquez's neighbour, I don't find the name strange now, but at the time it was like, "Wha-?"

And I can't stand the name Mercedes.

Missing Scotland and my friends & family there

Miserable at work

Texting someone I shouldn’t

Working on quitting

Crying re above

Needing to laugh

And now the boiler's broken. Anyone got a hatchet?

I’ve just finished watching Scrubs season 3 and although I noticed it during season 2 I feel I can definitely say, without a doubt, I don’t like JD. I don’t like him at all. He’s selfish and insecure with a phony sense of self righteousness, only happy when someone else is having a hard time and he’s getting the glory. He’s a total wuss.

Glad that’s off my wee chest. I’m off to bed now. Night, homies.

What are your deal breakers in a relationship?

The biggest one is trust. Once that’s gone there’s no relationship left, you’re just shuffling along. And along with that comes honesty. If you can’t be honest with each other then what’s the point? If something’s bothering you then spit it out right then and there instead of thinking it’ll get better if you ignore it until it goes away. It never does. It just builds up with loads of other rubbish, relevant and irrelevant, until you explode with unreasonable force! So yeah, better out than in I say. I also won’t stand for cheating, lying, mind games, flatulence and the stealing of the last bit of chocolate because you thought I wouldn’t want it after three weeks.

Also – insecurity, possessiveness, poor personal hygiene, very religious, jazz, porn, tracksuits, bling, pink shirts or jumpers, sandals at a restaurant, lazy, no initiative, no sense of adventure, narrow minded, constant complaining – no thanks.  

The mystery is finally solved.
How does the small arrow on your computer monitor work when we move the mouse?
Haven't you ever wondered how it works?
With the aid of a screen magnifying lens, the mechanism becomes apparent.

Click on the link below and you will find out. When it appears, slowly
move your mouse over the light grey circle and you will see how the
magic works.

http://www.1-click.jp/